One thing I want you to know about me
If I could share one thing about myself with the world it would be that I take my “self-care”, for lack of a better word, very seriously. Some might say a little too seriously, bordering on selfish and I probably agree.
The term self-care is overused and sometimes problematic so let’s address that before we move on.
When I say self-care, I don’t mean the things you do to make your physical body feel good. You know, massages, baths, beauty rituals, sex, masterbation, exercise, eating well... Although of course doing all these things will contribute to the feeling of being cared for. The self-care that I’m talking about has to do with something deeper within, something not quite as tangible. Something like feelings. E m o t i o n s.
Plainly said, the self-care that has made a difference in my life, and has people asking me how I’m so happy, is the care, attention, love and compassion that I have shown to my own feelings.
This seems obvious but you’ll be surprised how much work it actually takes to honour yourself in this way. Even with all the self-care I claim to indulge in, it recently become very clear to me, as certain things do at the right time, that I have been very reckless and uncaring with myself on a level I wasn’t quite aware of until now. I’ve made promises to myself that I haven’t kept. I’ve set goals and deadlines I haven’t met. I am Queen Procrastinator when it comes to doing the things that I know are good for me.
Now, I don’t know about you but I’m a fuxking reliable person. When I say I’m going to do something or be there for someone, I’m there. But for some reason this reliability and commitment stops when it comes to myself. I would never, well, within reason, break a promise I made to a friend or family member. I break promises to myself all the time, willy nilly. Part of my emotional self-care work has been to allow revelations such as this one to emerge and change my life.
Self care, done properly involves committing to yourself and holding space for your emotions to run free, to take you where they may, without judgement or prejudice. It is by sitting with myself experiencing the rollercoaster of jumbled thoughts and feelings that I began to accept and know more about myself. And it really doesn’t take much. I spent time alone, indulging in the present moment and in the secret things my heart desires. I spent time alone nurturing myself as I would a wounded animal found on my doorstep - not a reptile. I spent time alone recognising my value, independent of anything or anyone else.
So damn right I take my self care seriously. I will take the days off work that I need, I’ll check in with myself before I make or accept any plans, and sometimes its a no, no obligations here and no reasons why. I don’t feel like it. That’s reason enough. I understand that this a luxury and privilege I’ve been afforded so I’m only sharing what I do and what works for me. The simple message here is you are somebody too! Commit to yourself the way you commit to your kids, your pets, your job, friends, the random things you buy. Want more than anything to see your highest potential emerge in this lifetime and do whatever you can to remember that, even if it means ignoring that phone call so you can be with yourself.
