Tuesday. July 25, 2023

Today, I noticed the sharp sting of a bee. I arrived at my usual spot in the park excited to start the book I had found in a community book box. I lay down a large scarf and relaxed into the cool grass, bathing in the warmth of the sun. I opened up the first page of Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg  and began to devour the message I was only now ready to receive. Two red admiral butterflies took a liking to me and began to flit and flirt in my vicinity. One touched down on my scarf and stood there for so long that I leaned in, half expecting it to tell me something. When it didn’t, I reached out a finger to touch it. To my surprise, it allowed this interaction hopping on my finger for a split second before returning to dance flirtatiously with its mate. I savoured the moment, lost in its magic until an unconscious movement of my foot sent a sharp, searing pain through my body. “Ouch!” I screamed as I sprung up to investigate the source of this great pain. There was no sign of the culprit but the sight of a bee flying low in the grass in search of sweet nectar told me that I had just been the victim of a bee sting. I was flooded with disappointment as I watched the entry site slowly begin to swell, agitated by the venom that had just been introduced. I wondered if I would go into anaphylactic shock. This was my first bee sting. When my throat didn’t immediately swell shut, I focused my attention back on my foot. The pain was like none I had ever experienced. Again, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. “Why did this stupid bee have to ruin my magical moment?” As I hobbled home on one foot, I thought about how the bee sting felt like betrayal. Perhaps what happened to me is a metaphor for my life. There is no pleasure without pain, no love without betrayal, no magical moment with a butterfly without the sharp sting of a bee.

ouch
: an expression of great pain.

Wednesday. May 31, 2023

Today I noticed a bold-faced lie. I was laying in the grass, soaking in some sun and reading my first book of the summer, all about love by bell hooks, when he approached. At first, I thought he was gearing up to do the same but when his greeting didn’t end there, I knew there was something more. He made some comments about the weather to which I politely responded. He asked me what I was reading. I showed him my book, we agreed it was appropriate for the season. “Do you have love?” he asked. I said, “yes.” He looked a little taken back. My phone went off in that moment and I took some time to respond. After a few minutes, I turned my attention back to him. “Sorry about that.” He looked at me earnestly and asked, “you have a boyfriend?” I looked at him and answered, “Yes. Are you surprised?” He responded, “No.” I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He said, “No, that’s why I’m here.” After a little lingering, he said goodbye and walked away. I returned to my book, page 46. “Widespread cultural acceptance of lying is a primary reason many of us will never know love.” I was reading the chapter on HONESTY: BE TRUE TO LOVE. The irony of that statement wasn’t lost on me. I laughed and wondered why I didn’t have a boyfriend … yet.

L O V E
: the will to nurture our own and another’s spiritual growth. (from: The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck.)

 Monday. May 29, 2023

Today I noticed a black woman sitting on the ground outside of McDonald’s as I approached. “Do you want me to pull some cards for you?” she asked. My eyes moved from her face to the tarot cards she held in her hands and my curiosity piqued. I remembered the $5 note in my wallet. “Let me get a coffee first.”
Back outside I asked, “how much?”
“$15.” She replied.
“I only have $5.”
“I’ll do it for $5.” she responded without hesitation.
“Cool.”
“Do you have a question for me? Do you want to know about love?”
“Forget love.” I said. “Tell me about my money.”
She finished shuffling and pulled out the E M P R E S S card in the upright. I’d seen enough.

em·press
: a woman who is a sovereign ruler of great power and rank, especially one ruling an empire.

Tuesday. April 18, 2023

Today I noticed that a good thing, done the wrong way, is a bad thing. I have been in braids since my trip to Ghana in hopes of finally growing out and thickening my natural hair. During this time, I followed the recommendations of the natural hair community for fast hair growth: I kept my scalp clean (for the most part) and gave myself frequent scalp massages with a rosemary oil I DIY’d. Perhaps it was how the braids were installed in the first place, or the tight updos I enjoïed or maybe even the length of time I kept the braids in (roughly two months) but imagine my horror when one braid fell out from the root with my natural hair attached. Then another, then another. As I struggled with matted tangled hair from product build up during takedown, cutting here and ripping there just to loosen the knots, I couldn’t help but wonder how what began as a protective hairstyle had transformed into a destructive hairstyle.

nat·u·ral
: Made by Nature™

Monday. April 17, 2023

Today I noticed how obsessed I am with style. After three outfit changes, I was ready to head out the door to meet with a new friend. This isn’t typical for me, but it is a classic symptom of overthinking, the antithesis of effortless style. Outside, I was hit with a blast of cold wind which immediately told me that last week’s unseasonably warm weather was over, and I was now inadequately dressed. I dashed back inside to swap my denim jacket for a black puffer jacket which of course threw off the western vibe I had spent all morning perfecting. I also had to swap out my cowgirl boots for converse sneakers and discard the red bandana I had carefully tied around my neck. I was now dissatisfied with the overall look, but I had run out of time. In transit, I couldn’t stop thinking about how short my legs looked in black tights and sneakers. I looked around the mostly empty streetcar and quickly reached under my long black dress to take them off preferring to brave the cold. [Great] style over everything!

style
: a unique way of doing things.

Friday. April 14, 2023

Today I noticed Newton’s third law of motion, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Yesterday, I observed that I was replenished, reenergized, and restored by the sun. Today I was drained, depleted, and diminished by my interactions with a human being. I know this isn’t accurately Newton’s Third Law, but it reminds me so much of it. Why? Newton’s third law is also essentially, the Law of Karma, cause & effect, so did I do something to deserve this siphoning of energy?

law
: a statement of fact, deduced from observation.

Thursday. April 13, 2023

Today I noticed the power of the sun to replenish, reenergize and restore. I was emotionally exhausted, unmotivated, and cold when I spread a large scarf under a tree in the park to bask in the sun. As the sun’s rays warmed my skin, I began to relax. I closed my eyes to increase the sensation and noticed that the warmer I got, the lighter I began to feel. Soon, tension, confusion and despair seeped from my pores replaced by clarity, vitality, and hope. I wondered how Black people, born for the sun, have survived in the cold for so long. “There’s a difference between surviving and thriving” I heard a voice say. When my 30-minute timer went off, I got up, and folded my scarf, ready to face to rest of the day.

sun
: the star around which the world revolves.

Wednesday. April 12, 2023

Today I noticed a spider on the side of the sink while I was brushing my teeth. For personal reasons I associate the spider with an unpleasant experience, so my first devilish thought was to flush it down the drain but as I watched it try to get out, its little legs slipping and sliding on the white porcelain I decided against it. I wasn’t going to kill the spider, but I also wasn’t going to help it get out. “If it survives me brushing my teeth without drowning, then it deserves to live.” I decided. I continued to brush my teeth as usual all the while watching the spider battle the wetness to get out. Occasionally, it would lose its grip and slide back down, almost getting caught it the flow of the water. I finished and walked away hating to admit that I had avoided splashing water in its direction so it could live. “All living things are sacred.” I told myself.

sa·cred
: [of a thing] connect to divine source, God or gods and deserving of respect.

Tuesday. April 11, 2023

Today I noticed the meaning of “be nice to everyone you meet because you never know where you might meet them again,” when the “random” person I reached out to for a referral turned out to be an acquaintance from a long time ago. I know the idea of niceness is no longer trendy in our self-care obsessed society, where everyone is in their “villain era” – probably rightfully so. This is because on the extreme end, niceness can be misinterpreted by others as weakness, meekness or people pleasing. Indeed, nice people with no boundaries are often taken advantage of. Still, before we swing too far left, or is it right, let’s reconsider and embrace the true meaning of the word nice because being nice certainly does help.

nice
: (of a person) pleasant in manner; good-natured; kind

Monday. April 10, 2023

Today I noticed the serendipitous way in which things just work out. After a quick stop at Organic Nail Bar to fix my shellac polish which had begun to chip over the weekend, I made my way to Graffiti Alley to take some photos of an outfit I thought deserved the attention it didn’t get the last time I wore it. I wondered if I should take my Joby tripod as I left the house but it’s big and would have required a different bag so I decided against it, rationalising that when I found the perfect spot for photos, there would be a place to prop my phone. This wasn’t my experience the last time I was in Graffiti Alley, but I was hopeful. I had barely entered the Alley from Queen Street when I found the perfect mural. “This is the spot.” I thought excitedly. “Now for the phone issue,” but that was quickly resolved. On the opposite wall was more graffiti but also a metal casing affixed to the wall at the perfect height. It served no obvious purpose, but I didn’t care, it was wide enough for me to comfortably prop my phone – how magically convenient. The rest was effortless.

mag·ic
: the power of influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.

Friday. April 7, 2023

Today I noticed I’ve been living like a #savage for entirely too long and it shows in my spice cabinet. That’s where I hide my crazy apparently. Not only is the selection poor, but it is the most disorganised and unloved space in my home. Spices never leave their original packets, however inconvenient, and are carelessly ripped open for use in the heat of the moment. The cabinet itself is lined with a fine dusting of spilled spice, a melange of everything nice and not so nice. Today, I noticed my savagery and decided it was time for A change.

savage
: a slang term used to mean brutally honest, cool or excellent.

Tuesday. April 4, 2023

Today I noticed I was in a strange mood, the roots of which I was unwilling to explore. It happens to the best of us, I think. Sometimes I wake up in a mood, or slowly slip into a mood as the day progresses that I swear I have no idea where it came from. Some say, that if you’re experiencing a feeling you can’t explain, then it’s likely you’re taking on the energy or mood of someone else. Perhaps, but I think I can always explain the mood I’m in if I’m willing to find out. If I say I don’t know it’s because the reason is triggering, and I don’t want to admit it or face the thing that put me in a #mood.

trigger
: an event or circumstance that is the cause of a particular action, process, or situation

Monday. April 3, 2023

Today I noticed that done to the best of your ability at the perfect time is better than perfect at the wrong time. That’s something, especially coming from me. After scheduling my weekly newsletter, This Weekend I Noticed, I started to overthink it. “Perhaps I should have put a comma after “accurately” and the last sentence would sound better if I reword it a little differently.” The older version of me would have made those changes, “it has to be perfect!” The new version let it go, recognising the beauty and honesty in imperfection. Perfect or not, I had made my point. Besides, the perfect time doesn’t come along very often so once you see the green light, GO!, because done at the perfect time is better than perfect at the wrong time.

perfect
: having all the required or desirable elements [air 🌬️, water 🌊, earth 🌳, fire 💥!]

Thursday. March 30, 2023

Today I noticed that my domain name, www.adeltiporalife.com, was about to expire. Instead of clicking on the renew button I took a moment to reflect, maybe it’s time to change it. I’ve been going by Adel, the short form of my full name, Adelaide, since 2010. It’s now 2023 and even though I’m still Adel, I feel brighter, shinier, more evolved. I feel more like Tipora now, the middle name no one used, except my parents and a select few. Maybe I was on to something when I named my blog. The “A” stood for Adel but now, I think it stands for just that, “A”, the first letter of the alphabet. To reflect this shift in self, my new domain name is www.atiporalife.com.

do·main
: a distinct subset of the internet under the control of a particular organization or individual.

Wednesday. March 29, 2023

Today I noticed a neon pink sign on the white windowsill of a red brick home. It was picturesque so I took a photo to post to my Instagram story. I applied the Light Leak III filter to give it a dreamy, whimsical quality. As I rewatched the story over and over again, I noticed something I hadn’t seen before, blurred letters to the left of the same window. “What is that?” I thought. “What does it say?” When I looked back at the original unfiltered photo I saw it clearly: B L E S S E D, written in block letters against a white background.

pic·tur·esque
: visually attractive, especially in a quaint or pretty style

Tuesday. March 28, 2023

Today I noticed the DIVA™ Cup for the first time. To think that it was just outside my scope of awareness this whole time. I stood in the aisle contemplating the switch, reading, researching, wondering. In the end I reached for an imitation, a cheaper version. This one had a plastic carrying case I could see, surely that makes it better. I walked away but I couldn’t let it go. I wanted the original, the OG. After wandering aimlessly around the store for some time I returned to the same aisle and reached for the DIVA™ Cup. It felt right to go with the brand that started it all. “Oh, it comes with a cotton carrying pouch!” I noticed with some surprise. “Cool.” My decision was made.

di·va
: diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla [Beyoncé]

Monday. March 27. 2023

Today I noticed myself hurriedly scribbling down a petition on a green post-it to get it off my mind so I could get down to work. It went something like this:

Dear universe,I really want this thing you showed me and said I could have. I’m tired of thinking about it and I’m tired of waiting for it. If it’s for me, please bring it to me this week with all the extras I asked for 🙃. If not, let me forget and move on. Thank you.

As I told a friend last week, “once it’s written down, it must come true 🙏🏾”

pe·ti·tion
: an appeal or request, especially a solemn or humble one to a deity or a superior

Friday. March 24, 2023

Today I noticed blood after getting off an exciting call, three days after the new moon in Aries. Do you know that the word menstruation has its origin in the Latin word mensis meaning month and the Greek word mene meaning moon? A woman’s menstrual cycle is often connected to the phases of the moon. Women who bleed with the new moon are said to be on the White Moon Cycle, a period of heightened intuition, fertility, and motherhood. Women who bleed on or around the full moon are on the Red Moon Cycle, a time of creativity, introspection, and self-actualization. In all cases, women on their periods are at the height of their power.

period
: the monthly flow of blood from the lining of the uterus in non-pregnant women

Thursday. March 23, 2023

Today, I noticed a familiar feeling of insecurity begin to rise after I sent a message to a new group. What if it was the wrong thing to say? What if everyone is irritated by it and no one responds? What if no one likes me anyways and I’m removed from the group? Irrational I know, but these were my thoughts nonetheless as I actively avoided my phone for the next one hour. When I finally dared to look the responses were what I knew they would be, positive.

positive
: an affirmation, removing all doubt.

Wednesday. March 22, 2023

Today I noticed the power of convenience, simplicity, and quality. As I stood in a small restaurant waiting for my takeout order, looking up at all the famous faces who had once eaten there, it dawned on me that even though the place was kind of dingy, it had managed to remain in business and even gained popularity precisely because of these three things. The food is consistently quality and authentic, the menu is simple, and it’s conveniently located, one might say, in the right place at the right time. Sometimes that’s all you need to thrive.

convenience
: the state of being able to proceed with something with little effort or difficulty

Tuesday. March 21, 2023

Today I noticed the new moon phase imbued me with the energy to get sh*t done. To borrow lines from Soulja Boy, I hopped up out the bed, turned my swag on, took a look in the mirror, [and] said, "What's up?" My reflection stared back and said, Yeah, I'm gettin' money, oh 🎶

im·bue
: inspire or permeate with (a feeling or quality)

Monday. March 20, 2023

Today I noticed a white man with salt & pepper hair and a black wooden cane working on his laptop. Occasionally he would smack his lips, oblivious to the annoying sound. Next to him was a black youth working intently on an assignment, music in his ears. He glanced up at me once and never again. Next to him sat a homeless man with long white hair and a long white beard jealously guarding a stack of newspapers in front of him. “These are my papers!” I heard him say to a man who asked if he could read today’s Sun. Behind him, a black woman in a Zoom meeting periodically interrupted the silence. “I’m an engineer from Africa, Uganda.” I heard her say. “I don’t know how I ended up in social work.” I sat in direct glare of the sun with my sunglasses on, slightly irritated by the smacking sound, observing a bunch of misfits, cohabitating.

co·hab·i·ta·tion
: the state or fact of living or existing at the same time or in the same place

Friday. March 17, 2023

Today I noticed that my purchase decision was wholly influenced by the colour orange. This is not the first time I’ve bought something because of its colour but this conscious decision prompted me think about what I know about the colour orange. Orange is the colour of the sun, bright and H O T. It is energetic, optimistic, creative and fertile. Orange is also adventurous, bold, strong. Orange is a warning, don’t f**k with it. Orange is happy, passionate, and excitable. Orange is F U N, luxurious and prosperous. Most important of all, orange is N O T apple. Don’t ever compare them.

or·ange
: the range of colours between red and yellow

Thursday. March 16, 2023

Today I noticed the black girl winning in love and I love that for her. I recently started binge watching the reality TV show, Cosmic Love, on Prime Video. Four singles are matched with four potentially perfect partners based on their astrological compatibility. Through a process of elimination, they choose their perfect match, propose, and get married, within weeks. If you love L O V E, you’ll love the show – it’s so cute and well done – but you’ll love it even more if you love to see the black girl win in l o v e.

love
: a feeling of deep romantic and/or sexual attachment to someone

Wednesday. March 15, 2023

Today I noticed the guilt I felt after saying NO. I was in line at McDonald’s waiting to order a coffee when the black woman in front of me turned around and asked me if I had $2. I snapped out of my reverie and quickly went over what I had in my wallet, a loonie and some change, the $5 bill I was going to use to pay for my coffee and apple pie. “No.” I responded. As I stood at the next till making my order, I overheard her adjusting hers. I immediately felt guilty for not taking my time to assess the situation before responding. Would my loonie and some change have amounted to $2? How much was a coffee and apple pie, anyways? Could I have offered to pay for her order? These thoughts hounded me as we both waited for our food but the moment had passed. I turned to her as I picked up my coffee to ask, “Did you get everything okay?” hoping to still rectify the situation if she didn’t. She nodded meekly. That’s when I really looked at her. Guilty and ashamed, I walked away. My eye caught another patron’s eye as I left. They gave me a small smile. I was able to alleviate my guilt when I convinced myself that my first instinctual response was the right one. “Trust and stand by every decision you make.” I told myself, “However uncomfortable.”

ap·ple
: A fruit from the rose family of trees, typically red or green with crisp sweet flesh.

Tuesday. March 14, 2023

Today I noticed that I had been paying for a service that I never use. When the charge came off my account for the 20th time, I’d finally had enough. I logged into my account to cancel my subscription, to rid myself of the expense forever more. As I began to explore the platform however, I remembered. There was this feature and that feature, and I could do this and that if I integrated this to that. Perhaps I’d been thinking ahead when I first signed up. The service may not have been useful then, but it can be, now that I remember. That’s the long way of saying I’m still subscribed 😐🤷🏾‍♀️

sub·scribe
: arrange to receive something regularly, typically a publication or service, by paying in advance

Monday. March 13, 2023

Today I noticed how hard it is to do the right thing. I was lost in the YouTube shorts rabbit hole when I came across a video by Mel Robbins. In this video she explained very logically why you should get out of bed when your morning alarm goes instead of hitting the snooze button. I was convinced by her argument and determined to follow through, hoping to finally break my serial snoozing habit. When my alarm went off at 8:00am the following day I remembered the new knowledge I had gained and my resolution just long enough to hit the snooze button.

snooze
: temporarily turn off (notifications) in an app or on a device especially until a specific time

Friday. March 10, 2023

Today I noticed an anonymous comment under one of my videos. “Wowowowoow I love ittt” They said. Equally wowed by the comment I replied, “aw thank you! 🥰😘 I just uploaded a longer version check it out! xx”

Never miss an opportunity to self-promote 😄😉

wow
:expressing astonishment and/or admiration

Thursday. March 9, 2023

Today I noticed the difference between talking and being heard. Her voice was the loudest in the room as she confidently shared her opinions with the group. Her contributions were relevant if abundant. Later, as we stood chatting in small circles, I heard her say to the person she had just interrupted, “sorry, you speak. I’m used to being heard.” With that, she walked away. That’s when I thought, “Are you being heard though?” because you see, speaking loudly and frequently doesn’t always mean you’re being heard. For the rest of the night, I chose to listen and to use my words sparingly.

hear
: to listen or pay attention to.

Wednesday. March 8, 2023

Today I noticed A woman. She was dressed stylishly in light wash denim, the straight leg of her high-waisted jeans falling smoothly over white sneakers with pops of pastel colour. On top she wore a cropped t-shirt in army green that stopped just above the skinny snake-print belt she used to accentuate her waist. She completed her outfit with an oversized shearling shacket in warm beige. Her hair was pulled into a sleek bun, dark coils forming a small poof at her crown. Faint wisps of baby hairs framed her heart-shaped face. As I approached, she smiled a wide smile, showing off bright teeth and glossed lips. After a warm hug and happy laughter, she reached into the back seat of her black SUV and handed me a car seat. In it lay a beautiful bundle of jöi dressed in pink.

wom·an
: the opposite of man.

Tuesday. March 7, 2023

Today I noticed that focusing long enough on a thing will always yield results, positive or negative. When I sat down to write about what I had noticed the previous day nothing came to mind. I was determined however, so I decided to sit at my computer for the allotted time even if I had nothing to write. In that time, I did other things but never forgot why I had sat down in the first place. Ten minutes to the end of the set time, I remembered. This kind of blew me away. I guess the mind will focus, even subconsciously, when you set it A task.

fo·cus
: an act of concentrating interest or activity on something

Monday. March 6, 2023

Today I noticed I hadn’t pushed subscription to The T. in a while so I did. I also noticed that I felt no ways about it. Gone are the days of being too shy, too unsure, too self-conscious to self-promote. All this from observing another woman do it unapologetically.

A Tipora Life

Please confirm your subscription.

Before we can send you any email, you need to confirm your subscription below.

CLICK 👇🏾

CONFIRM SUBSCRIPTION

FYI we won’t subscribe you unless you click the text above

un·a·pol·o·get·i·cal·ly
: in a manner that says, “I don’t give a single f*uck”

Friday. March 3, 2023

Today I noticed how much we all just want to connect. “How are you paying?” he asked. “Cash.” I responded. I handed him three $5 bills from my wallet. He looked at them before putting them in his till. “Um, this one isn’t a Canadian bill.” He handed me back a blue note. I looked at him in shock. “It’s not?” I had accidentally given him a ₵5 note instead. “Oh, I’m sorry!” I said, “They look so similar. I just came back from there. I’m from Ghana.” I handed him a $50 bill. He laughed nervously, “Yeah, I haven’t seen money like that before.” As he prepared my change he said, “Funny enough, I was watching a documentary about Mozambique yesterday.” “Huh?” I thought, but I didn’t say anything. He followed awkwardly with, “I know it’s not the same thing.” “Almost! I said graciously, “It’s the same continent.” As I walked away with my purchase and change, I understood that his misplaced comment about Mozambique was his attempt to connect, to say, I know a little bit about Africa, I know a little bit about you.

gra·ciously
: elegant and tasteful, especially as exhibiting wealth or high social status

Thursday. March 2, 2023

Today I noticed an idea spring into mind. For this year’s #100dayproject challenge, I was going to bring back Today I Noticed, a daily stitch journal I began in Summer 2022 on my blog. By the fall, I had lost momentum for daily entries, opting instead for the less demanding, This Weekend I Noticed, a weekly-ish stitch journal available exclusively to The T. subscribers. Still, the idea of a daily blog entry never left even if I no longer knew how to begin. I hadn’t planned on participating in the #100dayproject challenge again after my failed attempt in 2020 which at the time led to the creation of the A Tipora Life blog, and a false start in 2022. But, when the 10th newsletter about the start of the challenge came into my inbox from the project team, it finally felt right to try again. I needed a project that would generate very little friction, because I already knew the beast, while simultaneously moving me towards my goal.

Today I Noticed was reborn, beginning March 1.

spring
: move or jump suddenly or rapidly upward or forward

Wednesday. March 1, 2023

Today I noticed I was inspired by the lyrics of Qveen Herby’s latest hit, “Thank Goddess,” a song that I feel echoes the sense of renewal I feel after my trip to Ghana. To express this inspiration, I decided to record myself lip-syncing to the song dressed up as Spring, the season of birth, renewal and regeneration. My outfit consisted of a flower crown, orange lipstick and my long blonde braids as cover for my topless form. What I imagine a Spring Goddess might look like. After some hesitation, I posted the recording as a reel on my Instagram. I think of it as art.

god·dess
: a woman who is adored, especially for her beauty.

Wednesday. October 26, 2022

Today I noticed a strange unfolding throughout the course of the day. After offering a friend some tips on how to stop their C.A.T from vomiting after eating, I sent them a link to the Dolphin LICK Mat in my C.A.T store, “if you need it, this will help to slow down their eating.” Their response, “There are a few pet stores close by. I’ll check there.” Now, I encourage all my customers to shop locally if the need is urgent given my shipping times, but I noticed that this response hurt me just a little bit. Why didn’t they want to support me? Over the course of an hour I slowly let the feeling go. No one is obliged to buy from me, not even family or friends, and shopping locally is environmentally more sustainable. Towards the end of the day, I received another message from them. “Are you selling the mat in your store? I misread your message.” Within minutes they had placed an order for the Dolphin LICK Mat from the C.A.T store. “Ordered. Thanks! 😊” I was befuddled. I had completely misread their intentions but happy I hadn’t escalated the situation by accusing them of being unsupportive. By letting events unfold, the T.ruth was revealed.

befuddled
: unable to think clearly; confused or perplexed

Tuesday. October 25, 2022

Today I noticed the things I didn’t know, like where my money goes and why the A Tipora Life website isn’t getting any traction through Google search. It took a willingness to find out for me to know what I now know. Now that I know, I feel relieved. Knowledge is power after all. Whether or not I choose to do anything with what I now know is a different story but at least I know and I can’t say I don’t know.

know
: be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information

Monday. October 24, 2022

Today I noticed a little bit of anxiety as I prepared to send out my weekly newsletter, where I share what I noticed over the weekend along with a few other tidbits as my mood dictates. I’ve been force subscribing family and asking everyone and their grandma to subscribe hoping that my unique POV will spread like wildfire. As the list grows however, I’ve noticed an accompanying tension as my desire for growth squares up against the realities of growth. Obscurity is so precious, so freeing. I wonder if it’s possible to be just as free when all eyes are on you. Why do I want this?

tid·bit
:a small and particularly interesting item of gossip or information

Tuesday. October 18, 2022

Today I noticed my surprise when I confidently declared, “I am a professional!” I shared a link to my newly updated C.A.T store with my sister and her reaction was, “I love it! It looks so damn professional!” Without thought, I wrote back, “I am a professional!” Later, I thought about how easily I’d taken on the title. There was a time, at the beginning of this journey, when I couldn’t have said those words with confidence. I cringe now at the work I produced when I was first dreaming up my ideas, learning to build a website, discovering my design aesthetic, mastering my writing style … Although there is still plenty of room to continue developing those skills, I can now see how far I’ve come. I am a professional! but also, as always a student of my craft.

PRO·fes·sion·al
: competent. skillful. assured.

Monday. October 17, 2022

Today I noticed that even the most well intentioned of us can still fall prey to temptation. I try to be a conscious, sustainable consumer of fashion. I don’t follow trends, I repeat, up-cycle and recycle the pieces I own, and I thrift and shop from off-price retailers because I believe great style can be achieved with a minimalistic, timeless wardrobe. But when I needed a quick and cheap Halloween costume I remembered Shein, the Chinese fast fashion retailer. I signed up and bought what I needed only to be confronted with the consequences of my choice the following day: an article from The Cut on my Instagram feed. “Shein Treats Its Workers Even Worse Than You Thought.” I was filled with guilt for supporting the company.

guilt
: a feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation

Thursday. October 6, 2022

Today I noticed how laser focused I get when I’m working on a project. I didn’t eat, drink water or get up to to do anything else for over six hours. It’s like I gather all my energy when the feeling hits and I point it relentlessly at the one thing until it’s done. It could take a day, perhaps a fortnight, maybe even 10 weeks or 2 years, then “whoosh” a huge sigh of relief. I don’t know if this is the right way to work but it’s the only way I know how to work, efficiently.

la·ser
: a device that generates an intense beam of coherent monochromatic light

Wednesday. October 5, 2022

Today I noticed the hustle and bustle of the city. I departed my home for my destination at 3:30pm to avoid the rush. To my delight, the streetcar to the subway was relatively empty, the short ride pleasantly relaxing. I was unexpectedly met with a hoard of energetic students as I stepped onto the eastbound platform. I walked all the way to the end in an attempt to separate myself from the crowd I had hoped to avoid. The train arrived, tightly packed with commuters. We shuffled inside and I found a seat next to a construction worker in his dirty workwear. He looked surprised as I took a seat next to him dressed stylishly in denim short and cowboy boots. Across from us one woman sat with her Mui Mui sunglasses, another slept deeply her head bobbing up and down as the train sped along. I wondered what work she did to make her so tired. As people filed in and out of the train at each stop, the work-from-home hermit in me thought, “wow, it’s really busy.”

hus·tle
: busy movement and activity

Tuesday. October 4, 2022

Today I noticed the plaid shacket of my dreams, so I bought it! Not without hesitating of course. The shacket has been trending for some time now but I’m unfazed by most trends, until I am. Once I decided I wanted a shacket I put out an intention for the perfect one to find me. For the next few weeks, I looked for shackets in every store I went into. But like Goldilocks, they were too thin, too bulky, not the right colour combo! Until of course the shacket found me. The colour was perfect. A blend of beige and black. The large and only size available was surprisingly the right fit. The price was higher than I wanted to pay but I quickly recognised that it was worth it. I only want one versatile shacket and now I have it.

Shac·ket
: shirt meets jacket; a jacket in the style of a shirt, or a thick shirt worn as a jacket

Monday. October 3, 2022

Today I noticed something about momentum, once you gain it, you can’t stop or you lose it all and have to start again. I started my daily stitch journal a few months ago and gained momentum, never missing a day. And then out of complacency, I lost said momentum. Five missed entries later and I’m having to build up the daily habit of noticing as if I never started. The same thing happened with my running. Over five weeks I gained momentum and stamina and then I got scared of doing a 40-minute run so I procrastinated. Over a week later, I’ve lost said momentum and stamina and frankly the will, which I’ll have to find again. My lesson? Start and don’t stop because it only gets harder to start back up again. I knew this. But did I really know this?

mo·men·tum
: the impetus and driving force gained by the development of a process or course of events.

Friday. September 23, 2022

Today I noticed I always get what I want. Not always in the exact way I wanted it but almost always better. ”A table for two please.” I said to the bar host. “Preferably inside.””We only have one space left outside and you’ll have to share the bench.” He replied, somewhat apologetically.Damn. We took what we could get waving an awkward “hi” to the pair seated next to us. Soon after, a high table in a prime location overlooking the street became vacant. We looked at each other as if to say, “if we’re going to sit outside where it’s cold we might as well sit somewhere nice and private.” We were relocated upon request despite the growing lineup and enjoyed the night seated exactly where we wanted to be, the indoors forgotten. Imagine my delight when the heat lamp went on. #cozyvibesonly

co·zy
: (of a relationship or conversation) intimate and relaxed.

Thursday. September 22, 2022

Today I noticed my ideas for the A Tipora Life brand finally coming together. Slowly, steadily but surely. I still don’t have the complete picture but boy am I glad I didn’t stop when I was scared and alone wading through the dark.

wade through
: to make one’s way labouriously through something.

Wednesday. September 21, 2022

Today I noticed someone get away with not paying for all the items in their grocery cart. I’ll begin by saying that this is what I witnessed from my perspective behind them so I’m not writing with 100% accuracy. Their grocery cart was loaded with big items, some of them still packed in their boxes, as if they were shopping wholesale. At check-out, the cashier walked around to scan the boxes and asked them to load the individual items they had selected from the shelves onto the conveyor belt. I noticed some items remaining at the bottom of the two-tiered grocery cart and I almost spoke out to remind them to include them with the others until I considered that it could be intentional. I didn’t want to call out someone of the same race for theft, especially given existing prejudices, so I remained quiet. Moreover, I could have been mistaken. I concluded that it was the supermarket’s responsibility to prevent theft, potential or real, and not mine. They paid their bill, I paid mine and we both left.

per·spec·tive
: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view

Tuesday. September 20, 2022

Today I noticed I was starting to get a bit annoyed with a friend who was taking a little too long to deliver on a favour. After about two weeks of “I’ll get to it” I was beginning to feel some type of way, as if there was a direct correlation between the length of time it was taking her to just do it and her respect for me as a friend. Granted, I didn’t provide a timeline nor was there real urgency, but when the feeling began to bubble up two weeks on I knew that an invisible line was being approached. Rather than have them cross it, which would likely lead to feelings of resentment, I quickly spoke up. The favour was done and a crisis was averted. At least on my end.

re·spect
: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements e.g. “Put some respeck on my name” [Birdman, 2016]

Monday. September 19, 202

Today I noticed how much work and time it takes to upgrade. I’m taking C.A.T to the next level so I curated some new items for the store and patiently waited for them to arrive. After some rigorous testing with Noire I hand-picked approved items to go in the store. Then comes finding and/or taking product pictures, editing / stylizing them individually in Canva, uploading them to the store, writing interesting and captivating product descriptions, determining a price, optimizing SEO and finally the release, clicking the publish button to share the new product with the general public. It’s a tasking process. No wonder so few of us upgrade.

hand-pick
: select carefully [for a job or activity] with a particular purpose in mind

Friday. September 16, 2022

Today I noticed myself thinking about people who consistently abuse alcohol wondering how and why they do it. I was only very mildly hungover from the night before, but I noticed the impact on my state of being. My mind was foggy, my body sluggish, my spirit defeated. A general sense of malaise lingered long past its welcome. “This is the worst feeling ever!” I whined. How do they do it? Night after night after night after night …

hang·o·ver
:a thing that has survived from the past

Thursday. September 15, 2022

Today I noticed I was engaged in a very disturbing conversation. The phrase, “don’t talk to strangers” took on new meaning. I complimented her full head of luscious curls and this apparently opened the doorway for her to say some explicit, sexually inappropriate things to me. I laughed nervously unsure if I was hearing her correctly above the noise. “What’s funny? I’m serious.” She said, somewhat aggressively. Alarm bells began to go off. I continued in the same light-hearted, friendly tone as I searched for my exit, not wanting to trigger her into an altercation. Later, I thought about how I had essentially allowed this woman to verbally abuse me with her lewd remarks. A man would never! But only because I would have known how to handle myself that situation.

stran·ger [to]
: a person entirely unaccustomed to (a feeling, experience, or situation)

Monday. September 12, 2022

Today I noticed the following three things while participating in the Founder’s Fund Seasons of Success virtual conference series. The third instalment, SUMMER, focused on growth.
1. Banks and other financiers like to see that you have some "skin in the game," the idea of shared risk, so use self-funding as an important part of your overall plan. #worldoffinance
2. Debt in business is a privilege. Not everyone has access to credit so don't shy away from using debt (mindfully) as a tool for launching your business to the next level #moneymindset
3. The idea of Gender Intelligent Financing, i.e. financing opportunities and conversations that recognize the unique needs and circumstances of women. "Women aren't risk adverse, they're risk aware" #thefinancecafe

sum·mer
: the warmest season of the year

Tuesday. September 13, 2022

Today I noticed the indispensable value of my two sisters. I asked them to describe the A Tipora Life website in three words, focusing mainly on aesthetics and to provide any other feedback as necessary. One said, “stylish, engaging & thought-provoking” followed by some site edits and a suggestion to encourage discussion through comments or a forum. Another said: “feminine, simplistic, creative” followed by more site edits and a poignant observation about my use of white space and the effect it has on the reader. It surprised me how seriously they took the assignment and highlighted the depth of their intelligence and emotional awareness. The information was delivered to bolster my confidence on my journey but also to sharpen my course, just how I like my feedback.

three
: “The number 3 has always held powerful symbolism […]. Wherever the number 3 shows up in your life, it’s generally an omen of creativity, communication, optimism, and curiosity! [Taken from: Cosmopolitan.com]

Monday. September 12, 2022

Today I noticed a desire for feedback on all the work I’ve put into the A Tipora Life blog, and more generally, brand. This surprised me because I have actively avoided feedback since beginning the project two years ago. 1. Because I didn’t want anyone’s opinion to influence what I was doing strictly for my own pleasure and development and 2. I was afraid of negative feedback. The project was so new and my sensibilities so delicate that I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. This new desire for feedback tells me that I’m strong enough to let go.

o·pin·ion
: the beliefs or views of a large number or majority of people about a particular thing

Friday. September 9, 2022

Today I noticed how quickly Noire took to her new C.A.T shaped home. Its arrival took me a little by surprise, so much so that I jumped out of bed to answer the door clad only in a tie-dye tank top and granny panties, my favourite. I looked the mailman straight in the eye, willing him not to notice my half-naked body as I poked out a hand from behind the open door to receive the package. He got the memo. Back inside, I quickly zipped up the two sides to the grey felt cat home, threw in the detachable cushion and started thinking of ways to lure Noire inside. There was no need for manipulation, however. Without my prompting, she entered and made herself very comfortable. I guess she likes it. Welcome home Noire!

lure
: tempt (a person or animal) to do something or to go somewhere, especially by offering some form of reward

Thursday. September 8, 2022

Today I noticed a red Lifestyle condom wrapper and, what I can only presume was a used condom, in a public park. I didn’t linger long enough to confirm. The two were in the same vicinity but some distance apart. It made me uncomfortable. I could have stepped in it. I briefly wondered about the exhibitionists and the public sex park in Amsterdam I recently read about, Vondelpark. They at least have one rule: leave no mess behind!

life·style
: the way in which one lives their life

Wednesday. September 7, 2022

Today I noticed that the thing that I spent all day trying to prevent from happening happened anyways just when I thought it wouldn’t and I could relax. Noire knocked over the plants on the window above my bed, spilling soil all over my freshly laundered sheets. All this in an attempt to get outside through the window because I wouldn’t open the door. That action marked an end to her free-roaming days and taught me a valuable lesson: don’t resist the inevitable, it saps energy and brings about distress. Instead, embrace it however painful and it will be short-lived.

sap
: the fluid, chiefly water with dissolved sugars and mineral salts, that circulates in the vascular system of a plant.

Monday. September 5, 2022

Today I noticed the overcast day brought with it a stillness in the air. A dead quiet, calm, tranquility that made me feel like I was in the eye of a storm however untouched. This of course made me suspicious. What’s coming towards me?

still
: even now (or then) as formerly: she still has that blog?

Friday. September 2, 2022

Today I noticed myself going 🔙 to ChickfilA for round two. I had to be sure. Was my first taste really that good or was I just hungry? This time, the restaurant was at capacity, the line-up almost to the door. “I see you, ChickfilA!” Service was efficient however and I was soon face-to-face with my cashier. She coaxed me into small talk and I reluctantly recounted yesterday’s events. It seemed she was determined to top that. “The Spicy Chicken Sandwich is my favourite!” she said enthusiastically, reaffirming my order. “Try it with Sweet and Spicy Sriracha Sauce or the Polynesian Sauce.” She packed a separate bag with even more sauce. “Guess I’m all sauced up!” I joked. We laughed and I left with my bag o’ sauce and spicy chicken. At home I paired it with the Chick-fil-A® Sauce for a second time.

Double yum 😋😋

spicy [slang]
: hot, sexy, sarcastic, sassy; exciting or entertaining, especially through being mildly indecent

Thursday. September 1, 2022

Today I noticed that ChickfilA is indeed that chick[en], deserving of its popularity and cult fandom. I was starving and already one Belgian Moon in and headed for more🍻. I needed a snack, any snack until I could enjöi a full meal. ChickfilA was in the right place at the right time. I walked in with little expectation and put in my order, “One Chick-fil-A® Chicken Sandwich entreé please.” I was the only in the restaurant at the late hour. “Any sauce with that?” the hijabi cashier asked? “What sauces do you have? This is my first time here.” I answered. She began to rattle off a list of sauces. I quickly interrupted. “Just hook me up, make me wanna come back” I said with a smirk. She took this as a challenge and her face lit up. “Oh, I’ll hook you UP!” A few minutes later she sent me on my way with one sandwich and three different sauces. It seemed appropriate that I choose the Chick-fil-A® Sauce for my first tasting. Needless to say, it was love at first bite. I wolfed it down with satisfaction.

Yum 😋

sauce [slang]
: used to describe someone who has a style, confidence and attraction about them. Usually someone who is well-dressed, fashionable, and has an aura about them. swagger, style

Wednesday. August 31, 2022

Today I noticed an elderly man, probably in his late 70s or early 80s, basking in the sun, hunni. He was in a wheelchair outside the hospital I can only assume he was admitted to, taking in the last rays of the day’s sun before the sunset. His eyes were closed which I took as permission to observe him unabashedly as I walked by. He looked so at peace, so content, so present in the moment that I was touched. Watching him made me feel warm inside, like I was the one bathing in the sun’s rays, and a smile that lasted the rest of the way home, broke out on my lips. We should all be this old man.

bask
: lie exposed to warmth and light, typically from the sun, for relaxation and pleasure

Tuesday. August 30, 2022

Today I noticed how comfortable I have become in my own skin. Comfort that has unlocked dimensions I didn’t know existed within myself. There was a time I wouldn’t allow myself to be seen in my natural curls or without makeup. An outward indicator of my discomfort in who I was. Discomfort that stealthily permeated all other aspects of life limiting thought and action from expression. Now that I have experienced the ease and freedom of comfort, I can understand the unease and worry of discomfort. Comfort [in self] is key to becoming.

com·fort
: a feeling of relief

Monday. August 29, 2022

Today I noticed I chose the more expensive bottle of wine over its cheaper counterpart. I went into my local LCBO to pick up a bottle of cheap wine to quench my thirst after what I felt was a long day. Whether it was or not is subjective. I looked around the rows of wine searching for one on sale. My eyes stopped at a bottle with a white label and gold embellishments. A French wine. It looked expensive. I quickly grabbed it. I soon realised however, that it was misplaced, the deal too good to be true. I put it back and went in search of a cheaper alternative but I kept thinking back to that wine. "Why had it caught my eye?” Soon, it was the only thing I could think about. All the other wines paled in comparison. “I deserve this wine!” I said to myself. I made my purchase and left the store. As I sat down to undo my braids, a more than full glass of red wine in front of me, I thought, “It feels like I’m celebrating something … but what?” 👀

cel·e·brate
: to express admiration and approval for something or someone

Friday. August 26, 2022

Today I noticed that what I had been waiting for with expectation and some apprehension arrived as soon as I released it and made alternative plans. I sent two emails and left two voice messages for a call back. Nothing. I made a phone appointment online for 12:15pm on Thursday. The time came and went. Still nothing. I made another phone appointment online for 2:00pm on Friday and waited patiently by my phone, convinced the call would come through this time. 2:00pm, 2:30pm. 3:00pm. Nothing. I was beyond frustration at this point. I went online and made the final appointment for Monday at 10:00am. This time in-person and immediately forgot about all those times it didn’t happen. I was in the driver’s seat now and the meeting was guaranteed. My phone rang at 4:41pm. “Hello?” It was the call I had been expecting. Was I happy to receive it? Yes. Would I have been okay if it never came? Yes. I learned my lesson and made sure of that.

re·lease
: remove restrictions or obligations from (someone or something) so that they become available for other activities or opportunities.

Thursday. August 25, 2022

Today I noticed that my legs sometimes know something that I don’t. We paid our bill for the half price bottle of Rosé and the dozen buck a shuck oysters we shared and stood up from our table. “Let’s go eat something. I’m hungry.” I said. We began our walk down the street with no particular destination in mind, our legs leading the way. Every so often we’d make a turn on a whim still discussing where we were going. We soon came upon a building with large windows. Inside, beautiful people in beautiful clothes mingled, eating hors d'oeuvres and sipping on bubbly. “Should we go in there?” my companion suggested. I was already halfway through the door. Our legs had taken us to a launch party. We helped ourselves to free bubbly and fancy sandwiches. We belonged.

be·long
: have the right personal or social qualities to be a member of a particular group, organization, or class.

Wednesday. August 24, 2022

Today I noticed that sometimes I need more information before I can put my observations into context. Let me explain. I sat down on Tuesday morning to make Monday’s journal entry. I have been noticing the word “bubble” and all its derivatives lately, but it stood out to me most on Monday. It made no sense however when I sat down to write. Try as I might, I had no story to tell. I let it go accepting that perhaps for the first time there would be no journal entry. Tuesday came and went. While watching a YouTube video on Wednesday morning I heard the unrelated phrase, “judging a book by its cover” and something clicked. Suddenly “bubble” made sense and Monday’s observation coalesced into a story I could tell.

co·a·lesce [into]
: come together to form one mass or whole

Tuesday. August 23, 2022

Today I noticed the plastic glove I laid my reverse tie-dyed dress on to process in the sun had somehow formed itself into the peace sign ✌🏾. How appropriate given the project I was working on. If you don’t know, tie-dye peaked in the 1960s and 70s with the Western hippie counter-culture movement. A movement for tolerance and acceptance, peace, love and freedom.

peak
: refers to the point at which a specified thing is at its highest level of popularity

Monday. August 22, 2022

Today I noticed, as cliché as it sounds, that I judged a book by its cover. For years I have insulated myself in my own little bubble, allowing in only a micro dose of the very noisy, very chaotic, attention grabbing outside world. All this to solidify my individuality. Years of marinating in my own energy however, has proved one thing. I am human, just like everyone else, prone to clichés and mistakes LOL. I judged this book because I was too lazy to consider its multifaceted, multidimensional nature. I was easier to say, “I met you here, doing this, so you must be that.” What a bubbly fool I am!

bub·ble
: used to refer to a good or fortunate situation that is isolated from reality

Friday. August 19, 2022

Today I noticed a DIY itch so I decided to reverse engineer the Smiley L.O.V.E phone charm I recently purchased to compliment my transparent neön pink iPhone case. First, I took a photo, for posterity. Next, I carefully cut the pink string holding it all together. Loose beads rolled on the table. I gathered them back together. Then, I pulled out new string. This time in metallic gold. I re-strung the beads following the initial pattern. Halfway through, I went rogue. I replaced two elements in the design with star-shaped mother of pearl beads and improvised the rest of the way. Finally, the knot. “How was that done again?” Unable to imitate or duplicate what had previously been done, I birthed a new design idea. Creativity at its peak ⛰️

re·verse
: operating, behaving, or ordered in a way contrary or opposite to that which is usual or expected; move backwards

Thursday. August 18, 2022

Today I noticed myself looking up photos of Jiji from Studio Ghibli’s Kiki’s Delivery Service to post (a day later) on Noire’s Instagram account for International Black Cat Day. Jiji is a talkative black cat and Kiki’s familiar, loyal companion and confidant. Noire has been giving Jiji vibes lately and I’ve experienced a change in our communication. We’re talking more. I guess I’ve learned her language and she has mine. Meow. 🥴

fa·mil·iar
: in close friendship; intimate

Wednesday. August 17, 2022

Today I noticed my surprise when I received an immediate response to a non-urgent text message I sent to an acquaintance. I was baffled, accustomed to waiting hours before responding to even the most basic of messages. I wondered if I should follow suit, afraid of setting a precedent. Oh hell, I jumped in and back and forth we went volleying messages until the conversation naturally tapered off. Whew! 😮‍💨 “That was a lot of effort.” I thought. “But fun!” I’ll do it again.

jump [in]
: (of a person) move suddenly and quickly in a specified way

Tuesday. August 16, 2022

Today I noticed a familiar pattern re-emerging, obsession, or more accurately, intense passion that quickly fades into nothingness. I refuse to go down an old road so I’m taking control!
“Be cool, Adel.” Que sera, sera.

Que Sera, Sera
: Whatever Will Be, Will Be 🎶🎛️🎚️

Monday. August 15, 2022

Today I noticed my discomfort when I’m complimented for having a nice body, for being physically fit, well-toned or skinny, and it’s not because I don’t I know how to receive a compliment. My discomfort comes from knowing that my body is the way it is because of genetics and not through any real effort of mine. I don’t work out, yet I’m toned, I’m not particularly conscious of my diet, yet I’m slim. These compliments feel undeserved, so I guess I’m wondering if it’s okay for me to receive a compliment, guilt-free, for something I didn’t have to work particularly hard for?

com·pli·ment
: an expression of praise, admiration or respect.

Friday. August 12, 2022

Today I noticed just how many Friday nights I’ve spent at home alone. Not because there is nothing to do, because there is always something to do if one’s looking, but because of the mindset I have adopted. It goes: if I am meant to do something or be somewhere on any given day, that thing will find me or I will feel an inclination to find it. It is sometimes uncomfortable to rest in this mindset especially when it feels like the rest of the world is buzzing. I have come to realise however, having practiced it for some time, that in the moments I buzz along with the world I’m always moved towards a desired outcome, however subtly.

in·cli·na·tion
: a person's natural tendency or urge to act or feel in a particular way

Thursday. August 11, 2022

Today I noticed 🩸🩸🩸 which made me feel like 😑😒😩, so I spent the rest of the day 😣🤢🥴. It didn’t escape my notice that it arrived on time, on or around the full moon, just like clockwork 🕛.

blood
: passionate temperament or disposition; family lineage

Wednesday. August 10, 2022

Today I noticed myself pretending to leave the apartment so I could escape Noire, as adorable as she is, for a couple of hours. I went out through the front door, performing the usual ceremony she has come to understand as me leaving for an extended period of time. Once outside, the front door firmly locked behind me, I walked around to the back of the building where I silently re-entered using the door I had propped open with my pothos plant. Quietly, I climbed into bed with my laptop but not without checking to see if she had somehow caught onto my plan. She hadn’t. Peace at last.

es·cape
: a key on a computer keyboard that either interrupts the current operation or causes subsequent characters to be interpreted differently.

Tuesday. August 9, 2022

Today I noticed I was having a meltdown triggered by a business proposal that was shared with me for review and discussion. It mirrored my own aspirations for my business and the opportunities for collaboration and partnership screamed at me. Instead of feeling energized, I felt defeated and helpless, unable at this time to capitalise on what was being presented to me. My world darkened as I finished the proposal and I immediately crawled into bed. “What’s the point?” I thought. “Nothing I’m doing is working.” I wallowed in self-pity and swore never to get out of bed to finish the two tasks I had set myself for the day. After about three hours of indulging in the pointlessness of it all, I found myself automatically rising out of my bed. I went to my desk to shoot off an email after which I went for a 22-minute run. Nothing had changed but I somehow found the fortitude within myself to just keep going because people like me never give up until we have exhausted all possible avenues on the path to what we know is for us!

melt·down
: an outburst of severe emotional distress

Monday. August 8, 2022

Today I noticed the very first haiku I wrote in November 2020 to accompany a painting I titled “heart within heart” was in fact not a haiku at all! The second line contained one too many syllables! How this happened I will never know. I diligently count each syllable on my hand 🖐🏾🙃. I made a simple correction by replacing the word “and” with a very powerful but humble symbol: the comma. The essence of the haiku remains unchanged. It now goes:

“Harsh truths wrapped in love, such gifts you bring gentle, wise. O, heart within heart”

hai·ku
: a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world.

Friday. August 5, 2022

Today I noticed it was time for a change. Luckily, the 14K Solid Gold Seamless Continuous Septum Nose Ring I ordered from JustNoseRings on Etsy was in my mailbox when I got back home. I immediately switched out the surgical steel horseshoe septum ring I had been pierced with 6+ weeks earlier. This process was not without struggle. As I stared at my new reflection in the mirror I thought, “I love it!” The effect was exactly what I intended.

ef·fect
: a change which is a result or consequence of an action or other cause; the extent to which something succeeds

Thursday. August 4, 2022

Today I noticed how ruthless I’ve been over the last few years, cutting off anything and anyone I perceive as impeding my growth or taking away from my jöi. This includes patterns of thought about self and others, outdated perceptions, ways of relating, people, routines, items of clothing … I mean, at this point there is nothing left! I’m practically unrecognizable! To myself and perhaps to others. All of this was by chöice; sometimes forced, other times willing. Has it been lonely and isolating hacking away at myself? Yes. Do I feel light, free and new? Yes. I guess this is what they mean by re-invention. I highly recommend it if you’re up for the challenge of a lifetime.

re·in·ven·tion
: the action or process through which something is changed so much that it appears to be entirely new.

Wednesday. Aug 3, 2022

Today I noticed myself on my second run in two days! A massive achievement given the time it took to get started. The idea to pick up running came to me some years ago out of nowhere, like all my ideas. Okay, maybe this one came from somewhere if I really think about it: the lyrics to Saint Jhn’s Cult4ever. He said: “Ridin' shotty, girl, that's how I meditate.” I heard: “Running, girl that’s how I meditate.” And just like that the idea was implanted. Combining exercise that isn’t yoga, with meditation which I need to do more of. The erroneous lyric also awakened a forgotten memory: my brief time on the cross-country running team in high school before laziness and the early morning training sessions caused me to lose motivation. I had never run long distance before then being more of a short distance sprinter. “I must be a natural if I made the team so effortlessly back then!” I thought. And I am! The first two beginner runs have been surprisingly easy. I’m running, very slowly but at least I’m running, with stamina, and I don’t want to stop.

run
: move at a speed faster than a walk, never having both or all the feet on the ground at the same time.

Tuesday. August 2, 2022

Today I noticed myself in a passive confrontation with a neighbour over Noire. “My dog “reacted” to her.” She texted. “Please consider that it’s not safe for her to change to an outdoor cat next to a dog.” My first reaction was fear! “OMG Noire! Is she okay?” I immediately called her inside. Terrified by the incident, I told her she was never going outside again. Next, my ego kicked in “Who the hell do they think they are telling me how to take care of my cat?!” I thought, indignantly. “Noire will go out as much as she likes!” I recognised this was my ego though, and refused to make any decisions until I had calmed down. After seeking advice from a fellow cat owner and sleeping on the situation, I have decided that I will continue to allow Noire to go out at scheduled times. I will closely monitor her movements and I will let the neighbour know when she’s out. What I won’t do is take away her freedom and jöi by submitting to fear. She’s a black cat in a dog’s world and the dogs will have to learn to coexist with her. Periodt. I am however, leaving her claws nice and sharp.

stand·off
: a stalemate or deadlock between two equally matched opponents in a dispute or conflict. Nothing can happen until one of them gives way.

Monday. August 1, 2022

Today I noticed myself pondering about feminine power. What exactly is it and how does one access it? To the best of my present knowledge, feminine power isn’t something to be acquired. It is a communal force, available to the same degree to all who seek it. Feminine power is deep feeling, recognizing and connecting to the subconscious. It is intuitive and instinctual, understanding and trusting the inherent wisdom of nature and allowing it to guide our actions. It is magnetism, effortlessly drawing in and moving towards a desired outcome. Feminine power gives power and in turn receives power. ♾

feminine pow·er
: the capacity or ability to move or influence in subtle, indirect or intangible ways.

Friday. July 29, 2022

Today I noticed my jöi when the package I ordered from Nordstrom just two days prior arrived unexpectedly at my doorstep. The estimated delivery date was a week out and I didn’t receive a shipping notification. Still, my jöi was palatable when the UPS delivery man handed me my package. It took strong will not to open and try it on in the moment. Instead, I chose to share my infectious jöi with an audience. I prepared my set and equipment and filmed an unboxing video for my YouTube channel. I hope others enjöi the moment as much as I did.

\jöi\
: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires

Thursday. July 28, 2022

Today I noticed my homemade iced hibiscus mint tea with honey and dried rugosa rosebuds tastes just a little bit better with a shot of Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey. It just does. The added spiciness and sweetness from the whiskey provides a certain je ne sais quoi that perfectly complements and rounds out the flavours of the concoction. It seems just like in life, a little bit of the forbidden makes everything that much more interesting.

con·coc·tion

:a mixture of various ingredients or elements

Wednesday. July 27, 2022

Today I noticed I was in a shopping mood.

5:00pm: I remember the 10% off Nike App Birthday discount I received last week is expiring today. I quickly download the app. The two items I have in my cart are still there: the Nike Icon Classic in Barely Pink and the Everyday Plus Cushioned ankle socks in multi colour. I go to check out. “Oh, hell no!” I can’t find where to put the discount code and I refuse to pay $10.95 for shipping unless I spend $175. I’m not falling for that again! Why won’t companies just include shipping in the price of the item so I don’t feel like I’m paying extra? I still want the shoes though ... I Google “Nike Icon Classic Sandals.” Nordstrom has it in the Barely Pink colour way for $5 cheaper and offers free shipping. 💲OLD!

i·con
: a person or thing widely admired especially for having great influence or significance in a particular sphere; a known symbol

Tuesday. July 26, 2022

Today I noticed one person had subscribed to my Youtube account, where I post weekly lifestyle vlogs, bringing my total subscriber count to 17. Although minimal in the grand scheme of things it brought so much jöi to my heart. I am always astounded and humbled when a complete stranger willingly opts in to be a fly on the wall in my life. Little ole me? Thank you, whoever you are!

fly on the wall
: a silent observer; hearing what is said or seeing what happens in a situation all the while unnoticed

Monday. July 25, 2022

Today I noticed myself at a café doing multiple takes of a reel for Instagram. As the other patrons drank their drinks and ate their little pastries while reading a book, conversing with a companion or working on their laptops, I walked back and forth between my seat and the tripod I had set up on a table repeating my lines with various tonations and expressions, trying not to miss a beat: 🥁🎵“Got a career and I’m very invested, some people call it a scary obsession, I like to call it a passion!” Finally satisfied with the results, I sat down to take the first sip of the iced hibiscus mint tea I had topped with a large dollop of honey. “Ah, refreshing.” I sighed contently.

creed
: guiding principles; a set of beliefs or aims which guide someone's actions

Friday. July 22, 2022

Today I noticed a small white feather. It stood out, strongly contrasted against the green of the grass it lay on. I contemplated picking it up as I approached but decided against it in the moment. I took 1, 2, 3 steps past the white feather before I felt a nudge to turn back around. It was pristine, freshly shed by a pigeon no doubt, or some other local bird. It had a small patch of black I hadn’t noticed before. I took it home and added it to the design on my laptop case:
DREAM BIG
🪶ATC Inc.

pris·tine
: in its original condition; unspoiled; clean and fresh as if new; spotless.

Thursday. July 21, 2022

Today I noticed my intuition being right. “You should probably get the 6-pack of dual-ended neön highlighters,” I heard her whisper. It sounded like me. I looked over at them. They were the same brand as the 12-pack of pastel highlighters I already had in my hand, albeit cheaper. I debated the decision for a brief moment and then, “no!” I said a little too forcefully, “I want the pastel highlighters. They’re so pretty!” I arrived home with the pastel highlighters and tried them on my receipt. The colours fell flat. Maybe I’ll like them later. I didn’t. It took eight days and the pressure of the return window closing but I finally admitted defeat. As I walked to the store to return them today, I wondered if the neon highlighters I should have gotten in the first place would still be available. They were. I bought them without hesitation. They’re perfect. A classic.

clas·sic
: serving as a standard of excellence; of the highest quality.

Wednesday. July 20, 2022

Today I noticed being nice is overrated. Nice people are taken for fools, walked over, disrespected. I was nice the first time I made the request. It was ignored, disregarded, forgotten. The second time, I wasn’t so nice. Suddenly I was seen as a person of note, to be taken seriously, feared even. I got what I wanted but at what cost? It didn’t feel very good. I wish people would learn to appreciate and respond to nice.

nice
: [of a person] polite, kind, agreeable; pleasant to relate to.

Tuesday. July 19, 2022

Today I noticed myself stepping into the sunshine, literally and figuratively. It happened while I was filming a short 10 second selfie story for my Instagram. As I walked down the street looking into the camera the clouds parted as if on cue and the sun beamed down on me casting a golden glow on my beautiful brown skin. I smiled a rare smile.

smile
: to turn up the corners of the mouth in an expression of pure jöi and amusement.

Monday. July 18, 2022

Today I noticed my disobedience. Her instructions were simple. I broke them where I could; not to be disobedient for disobedience’s sake but because her reasons were unclear and could not be logically or emotionally inferred. As an independent thinker I’m more likely to do things my way unless of course I understand why I must do them the other way.

dis·o·be·di·ence
: failure or refusal to behave as told or taught by someone in authority.

Friday. July 15, 2022

Today I noticed the positive impact of exceptional customer service. I made the dreaded call by necessity. The wait time was short. His voice was soothing and non-judgemental. his attitude open and helpful. By the end of it I not only felt relief that my concerns had been adequately understood and resolved but also empowered with the right information to tackle similar issues by myself in the future. As I hung up the phone, I was almost regretful that I hadn’t opted in to complete the customer service survey I had been offered at the beginning.

hel·lo
: a greeting; typically used to begin a phone conversation.

Thursday. June 14, 2022

Today I noticed my emotional state, which, if I’m being honest was a little bit chaotic. Over the span of the day, I became acutely aware of how I was feeling at each moment, sometimes soft and tender, other times harsh and fearful. As I surfed the changeable emotions, carefully observing each one before letting it go, I thought, “how strange. Is this the aftereffects of the full moon in Capricorn or am I PMSing?” Both are plausible.

cha·os
: behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.

Tuesday. July 12, 2022

Today I noticed how simple and effortless it has become for me to put up boundaries in my relationships to protect myself first, and foremost, and ultimately, the other people involved. As the late Maya Angelou once said in an interview with Oprah, “There is a place in you that you must keep inviolate, that you must keep pristine, clean, so that nobody has the right to curse you, or treat you badly. Nobody. No mother, father, no wife, no husband, no … nobody because that may be the place you go to when you meet god. You have to have a place that you say, stop it. Back up. Not … no … absolutely. […] Say NO when it’s NO. Say so. Back it up. Because that place has to remain clean and clear. […] And when the person comes with rude language to you, or invasive language (or action, or behaviour) to you, you have to be able to say back up! Not me you don’t!” or as rapper Rick Ross would say,“who the fuck you think you’re fuckin’ with? I’m the fuckin’ BOSS!”

no
: an act or instance of refusing or denying

Wednesday. July 13, 2022

Today I noticed how funny cats look when they’re wet. I gave Noire her very first bath since getting her almost a year ago this August. It was both a power struggle, with me dominating of course, and a bonding moment. She was sure I was trying to hurt her eventhough I was very sweet and gentle, as gentle as I can be with a fearful cat, and showered her with kisses and treats as well as the water she hates. By the end of it she not only looked and smelled amazing, but she was more loving and affectionate as if to say, “I trust and love this wild woman who had me in her grip and could have hurt me but didn’t.”

trust
: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Friday. July 8, 2022

Today I noticed myself in a world with no internet or phone service. I felt confused, disorientated, paralysed. What exactly does one do when the technological distractions they’re accustomed to are suddenly and without warning taken away? I picked up a book, I pampered myself, I took a nap. I was almost disappointed when 12 hours later, the familiar ding of the phone interrupted the sweet silence. I was back in the other world. Service had been restored but so was I. I picked up the phone and continued scrolling where I had left off.

re·store
: to return or bring back to a former or original state; renew; reinstate

Monday. July 11, 2022

Today I noticed, with great excitement, a single pink bloom on my Maestro Neon Pink Geranium. The first of many blooms this summer season. After a grueling winter indoors next to a drafty window, I hardly expected this plant, along with its twin to survive. They both looked worse for wear when I finally placed them in the full bright sun and doused them with water. With hope in my heart, I left it to nature. When I finally saw a cluster of buds appear on a long stem I knew I was in for a show that would last all summer into the fall. My neon pink geraniums had proved their hardiness, blooming more beautifully than ever after some time in the dark.

\ ˈblüm \
: a state or time of beauty, freshness, and vigor; a state or time of high development or achievement

Thursday. July 7, 2022

Today I noticed 4:44 on the clock. If you’re like me, you’re hounded by repeating or mirrored numbers and over time some of them have come to hold special meaning. 4:44 isn’t one that I see particularly often but I’ve come to associate it and the number 4 in general with stability and foundational strength, financial or otherwise. “Coincidentally”, I saw 4:44 on the clock while I was lamenting my lack of (corporate) financial knowledge. 🔮

foun·da·tion
: the act of founding (a corporation, an institution or establishment.); the basis or principle on which something is built

Learn more about 4:44 here.

Wednesday. July 6, 2022

Today I noticed my lack of knowledge, and frankly interest, in corporate finance. This coming from the owner of a corporation and a self-declared entrepreneur. To be fair, I declared myself a creative entrepreneur, so my primary interest is in, well, creating, be it a blog post, a product, or an innovative solution to a client problem not in counting, managing or organising money. I find the financial aspects of doing business incredibly dull and a little bit intimidating. Could this be related to the social conditioning I was raised with: Girls aren’t good at STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics). Perhaps. Nevertheless, I must find a way to overcome my irrational fear of numbers because entrepreneurship doesn’t exist without financial astuteness goddammit!

Fi·nance
: refers to the management, creation, and study of money and investments using credit and debt, securities, and investment to finance current projects using future income flows. Corporate finance involves managing assets, liabilities, revenues, and debts for a business. (Investopedia)

Monday. July 4, 2022

Today I noticed a peacock in all its majesty 🦚. I had just about given up on the opportunity to witness this glorious display when he stepped forward at the perfect moment. I looked on, stunned by his beauty, as he unfurled his majestic plumage to reveal a glorious halo of brightly coloured feathers. As he did his elegant dance for the plain peahen he was hoping to impress, I thought: “ and all this for the female. I wonder if she knows her power.”

/CHois/
: of the highest quality.

Tuesday. July 5, 2022

Today I noticed absolutely nothing. Except maybe that noticing is an active state, that is, in order to notice you have to set the intention to notice. Sometimes, something happens that is so obvious, so impactful, so memorable, that you can’t help but notice. Most of the time however, things happen, you notice them in the moment and then you forget unless of course you’ve set the intention to notice in which case, you’ll remember what you noticed. Noticing nothing doesn’t mean nothing happened. It just means you didn’t notice. So now I’m wondering what happened today that I didn’t notice.

no·tice
: the fact of observing or paying attention to something.

Friday. July 1, 2022

Today I noticed a seemingly high-value woman, that is, a good looking, well educated, financially and mentally independent woman, devalue herself for a man by offering, in a PowerPoint presentation no less, to take on the bulk of their financial and domestic responsibilities if he would just marry her already! It’s been 7 on and off years. His response? “Sounds good.” A year later, he is yet to propose.

ac·tion
: the act of doing something to achieve a specific goal or aim; something done.

Thursday. June 30, 2022

Today I noticed a man laying face down on the concrete terrace outside a women’s homeless shelter. Next to him was a bong and a tray, presumably with his drug of choice. I didn’t realize how long I’d been staring at him as I walked by until I lifted my head and my eyes met with a woman sitting in a group next to him. She noticed me notice him. She smiled at me as if to say, “yes, this is how we live but we’re human too.” I smiled back as if to say, “I see you.” 🧿

see
: to perceive with the eye

Wednesday. June 29, 2022

Today I noticed myself tearing up over another woman’s success 🥲. Out of the five finalists she was the most unassuming, the most humble, the most unsure although her work and delivery was excellent. Her emotional reaction when she was announced the winner was so pure, so genuine, so real that I couldn’t help but celebrate with her. When I learned that this unexpected victory had come in the aftermath of defeat the tears couldn’t be stopped! CONGRATULATIONS winner! To think that I overlooked her.

win
: to be successful or victorious in a competition, conflict or endeavour.

Tuesday. June 28, 2022

Today I noticed the annoying buzz buzz buzzing of a giant fly that had somehow made its way inside. The sound was unbearable and drove both Noire and I insane. Her attempts to hunt it down were futile. I finally shooed it outside using a light trick and locked the door firmly behind us. “Good riddance!”, I thought. I then had a little chuckle to myself about the time I believed a buzzing sound meant a lover was making plans for us to be together. Oh, how far I’ve come! 🤡

buzz
: an atmosphere of excitement and activity.

Monday. June 27, 2022

Today I noticed that instead of feeling relief and jöi after unburdening myself of a work-related issue that had long weighed on me, I felt stress and anxiety. Thankfully, it was nothing a few glasses of wine🍷 couldn’t fix. As I mailed off the final paperwork, I wondered what I had gotten myself into and if it was really over, at least for now.

o·ver
: [adjective] the end; finish.

Friday. June 24, 2022

Today I noticed I was in a moody mood. It all began when I tried to take a late afternoon nap. Instead of drifting off into blissful sleep my thoughts swirled, round and round and round an old conversation and I couldn’t make it stop. The more it cycled, the angrier I got at myself and all parties involved. By the time I gave up the nap I was in a big moody mood which lasted the rest of the night. This is clearly a conversation I need to finish to my satisfaction, that is, if I ever want to enjöi a peaceful nap again.

mood·y
: [of a person] subject to unhappiness, anger and depression.

Thursday. June 23, 2022

Today I noticed how much I’ve leaned into the flow of things. Dude, I’m so leaned in it feels like I’m being taken on the ride of my life, destination unknown. Yeah, I’ve locked into a target 🎯 but this flow, this flow has a mind of its own and I am offering no resistance. You want me to go to the park and film a video I hadn’t planned on filming? Sure, why TF not?

flō
: to proceed smoothly and readily.

Wednesday. June 22, 2022

Today I noticed Noire in my bedroom toying around with a tiny little mouse she probably chased inside. I was horrified! But after careful observation I realised she wasn’t going to hurt it or eat it like I assumed. She just wanted to play. I rescued the mouse and set it free but it came back a second time. I guess it wanted to play too!

play
: engage in activity for enjöiment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

Tuesday. June 21, 2022

Today I noticed how much I love a good catnap. It’s like hitting reset in the middle of the day. All the mental fog from the first half of the day is cleared out and everything I need for what’s ahead is mentally and emotionally aligned. Sometimes I’m not even really asleep but the simple act of laying down and resting my mind does wonders for my creativity and productivity. Let’s normalise taking a nap in the middle of the work day or whenever you need it. It’s very restorative when done right.

cat·nap
: a short daytime nap usually 20-40 minutes in length.

Sunday. June 19, 2022

Today, I noticed my how committed I’ve become to my natural hair journey after spending the whole day in service of my hair. For about a year and a half I’ve toyed with the idea of wearing my natural hair out more often than not but before I can do that I have to learn about how to take care of and style my natural coils, restore the health of my hair through routine nurturing and care and build up the confidence to feel beautiful in my natural texture. After many false starts, I think I’m there. I’m committed and this hair gon grow and thrive hunni!

\ ˈgrō \
: to increase in size or amount, or to become more advanced or developed.

Monday. June 20, 2022

Today I noticed a significant boost in my energy levels. I feel revitalised! So much so that I took on tasks I have been putting off for a little while such as vacuuming behind furniture, handwashing laundry and reverse tie-dyeing black Keds that had began to discolour. They look brand new. I am a multi-tasking BEAST and it feels so good!

en·er·gy
: the strength and vitality required for sustained physical, emotional or mental activity.

Saturday. June 18, 2022

Today, I noticed my guardian angels. We emerged from the forest only to discover that by going off path to explore we had completely lost our bearings. A quick Google search showed that we were about 44 minutes from where we had parked on Lawrence Avenue E. We walked around in circles for a few minutes still unsure of where we were headed. Then, as if by magic two elderly white women appeared on our path. One of them was a regular on the hiking trail. Afraid they would hear about us in the news the next morning if they abandoned us, they accompanied us all the way back to the last landmark we remembered, the rainbow underpass, and waved us off we cheery smiles. We would have been fine of course, but they were lovely company and we are forever grateful for and awed by the generosity of the two strangers who went out of their way to make sure we arrived safely.

an·gel
: a person of exemplary conduct or virtue.

Friday. June 17, 2022

Today, I noticed a friend’s condescension and I am disappointed and put off. A confident woman doesn’t elevate herself by talking down to others nor does she define her worth and that of others by the “luxury” goods she affords.

Attraction points: -5

con·de·scend·ing
: showing or characterized by a patronizing, disrespectful or superior attitude toward others.