In the famous words of Rosa Parks, “No.”
November 12, 2021
Toronto, Canada
We arrived at the downtown movie theatre early after dim sum and a brisk walk in the drizzling rain, eager to relax into our seats and enjoy the IMAX experience of Dune, Zendaya and Timothée Chalamet latest blockbuster.
We bought our tickets at the counter, carefully selecting our seats for our optimum viewing pleasure. Although the movie had been released a few weeks prior, it was still well-attended. Inside, we made our way to the two seats we had managed to snag just left of centre in the middle of the theatre and settled in, waiting for the movie to start.
Just before the previews, a large group of fellow movie goers entered the room and began to file into our row. One by one they took their seats as we looked on wondering if they would fit. All but two did. There were no more available seats once they filled up to where we were seated. The two remaining looked at us expectantly. We looked back at eager White faces.
A moment of silence and then: “Do you guys mind moving?”
Even before they asked, I knew the answer was “no.” These seats had been chosen with purpose. Their expectation sealed the deal.
“No.” I answered.
They looked surprised. By some computer error, we had been sold the same seats. I could feel the stares from their companions and others in the movie theatre as we compared seat numbers and discussed possible solutions. It was obvious that we were expected to do the “gracious” thing and give up our carefully chosen seats so that the two could sit with their group. A quick glance at our options returned the same answer: “No.”
I would not give up my seat today.
It was starting to get awkward now and I felt pangs of guilt begin to rise up. Not mine! Bolstered by my companion, I maintained my position. Finally, the two exited the theatre in search of a different solution. Our seats had been saved.
The previews began and I struggled to return to my pre-confrontation state of bliss. I felt negatively judged by everyone who witnessed the interaction and the voice in my head chastised me for not being a “good person”, for not sacrificing my comfort for that of two strangers. I fought back knowing full well that this was not me talking but polite society imposing its “nice” rules on me. Giving up those seats would have been a disservice to myself. I chose to honour myself instead.
The two returned just before the movie started and the whole party left our row for a different section of the movie theatre. By now, I had fully adjusted to my decision, confident that I had made the right choice for me. As the first scene opened I wondered, “why do we preach self-sacrifice as a society? Is it really honourable or are we just building a society of robotic people pleasers by giving in to this notion? Who does it really benefit in the end?”
